A lot ache, quite a bit grief … Even the tears have dried up. yet nonetheless, i must maintain myself, i must stay and i've to chuckle … And, hence, in this day in my place of work while there's not anyone on my flooring, I open her photograph on my machine. I tease her, pinch her nostril, run my arms over her eyes, cheeks and lovely lips, kiss her passionately back after goodbye and say, ‘Congratulations! We’ve now been a pair for a yr. 3 days of combating and 362 days of affection. no longer that undesirable haan? ’ and that i run to the washroom to scrub away my tears. I don’t are looking to cry this day. The day passes for you to snigger and to be at liberty in anyway. Now evening has arrived. mendacity down on my mattress, i ponder … If I have been in her position and he or she in mine, what may her existence were like? could she were capable of live to tell the tale with no me? could she be dwelling only for the sake of dwelling, for the sake of her kinfolk, the way in which I do now? may she nonetheless think about God, which I misplaced lengthy again? may her family members be contemplating one other fit for her? may she, at some point, put out of your mind me? 365 days later issues round me have again to what they have been a few years in the past, ahead of Khushi got here into my existence. The romantic video clips on my video shelf were changed through motion video clips. i'm napping on time, as there aren't any late-night calls now. My Orkut prestige has rolled again from ‘committed’ to ‘single’. I didn’t are looking to switch it simply because I nonetheless think devoted to her. however the awkward questions from humans on my scrapbook made me. along with her, every little thing else has gone—my goals, my happiness, my handsome destiny and much more. i've got replaced (of path, humans have a tendency to). It’s been nearly a 12 months considering I’ve laughed. yet i've got learnt to put on a faux smile. It’s very tricky, however it makes my mom and dad suppose that i'm recovering, although i do know I’m no longer. I don’t speak a lot. while i'm with pals, i would like to be by myself. whilst i'm by myself, i would like corporation. not anything comforts. With the arriving of evening and the passing of every day, I notice that one other day of my lonely lifestyles has long gone. So, i'm now little in the direction of the realm the place she has long gone. and other people, in particular my kin, have began to say that I may still get married, that my isn't sturdy. They don’t have the braveness to claim that to my face, so that they trace at it, subtly. My mom and dad (just like anyone else’s) are looking to see me chuffed. additionally they suppose that just some different lady may console me and make me put out of your mind every thing and begin a brand new existence. yet, one other lady? What may I inform her? That I spent the simplest hour of my lifestyles within the lap of a lady who's now not you? That i could have married you yet I’m nonetheless in love with a woman who doesn’t exist? That no matter what you do, each time I examine you along with her, even if you kiss me? Won’t I be screwing up such a lot of lives—the girl’s, her family’s, my family’s. And mine? yet mine is already screwed up. I preserve asking myself those questions. and since I don’t have any solutions to them, I stroll away each time this topic comes up. after which my ma and pa inquire from me, ‘Where are you going?