She definitely by no means went to church (except on Christmas Eve, to determine her grandchildren and great-grandchildren practice within the nativity, or even then she saved a flask in her handbag till mother came across it and confiscated it. after which she begged all people to shop for her beer afterward). It’s now not that the carrier isn’t great. it truly is. The plants are appealing, and the sunlight slanting during the stained-glass home windows within the sanctuary is gorgeous. Father Jim provides off an air of good-humored sincerity. It’s simply that none of this is often approximately Gran. That studying Sarah simply stood up and gave from the Gospel in response to Luke? not anything to do with Gran. in any respect. That great music the choir simply sang? So now not whatever Gran could have loved. however it won’t embarrass Rose. and that i bet that are supposed to make her chuffed. however it doesn’t say whatever concerning the individual whose existence we’re allegedly collected the following to rejoice. It’s just like the wax determine contained in the coffin. It’s no longer Gran. Gran, like Elvis, evidently left the development many years in the past. that's sturdy for Gran. yet it’s now not tips to memorialize her. It’s simply no longer. yet as i glance on the faces of my relatives round me, i will see that they’re all happy with the best way issues are going. And why shouldn’t they be? this is often most likely the 1st family members occasion we’ve ever had that Gran hasn’t ruined one way or the other. She wasn’t precisely the least difficult individual to dwell with…as i do know merely too good. As enjoyable as she may be—how again and again did she appear at my college, announcing i used to be sought after urgently at domestic, in simple terms to take me to the films in the course of the day simply because a few tremendous blockbuster was once starting that she desired to see earlier than every body else did and spoiled the finishing for her? —she may be a major discomfort within the butt. I may still know…I’m the person who wiped clean up after her adequate. And I’d already heard mum and dad speaking approximately how they have been going to show Gran’s bed room right into a playroom for the grandkids. Which i will be able to thoroughly comprehend them desirous to do. nonetheless. It simply appears like an individual may say whatever own… A hand settles over either one of mine, which I’m clasping tightly jointly in my lap, and that i search for to determine Chaz smiling sympathetically at me, as though he’s examining my techniques. He’s donning a suit—the related one he’d been donning that day outdoors his condo construction, whilst my center had reacted so violently to seeing him. He left the baseball cap again within the resort room. He’ll by no means be as good-looking as Luke—at least, now not within the traditional manner that the remainder of society thinks of as good-looking. He doesn’t have Luke’s lengthy eyelashes, and his eyes aren’t darkish and sleepy-looking. yet my center does one other loop-de-loop as i glance at him. I’m long past. i do know it now. i'm in such deep, deep difficulty. And the worst a part of it really is, aside from the difficulty i do know this can be going to reason the folk I care about—Shari, and naturally, Luke—I don’t even brain. unexpectedly Rose is elbowing me, announcing, “Your turn,” and that i observe it’s time for me to take my position in the back of the lectern beside the altar. I slip my arms out from underneath Chaz’s and rise up, aware of his whispered “Go, champ.